Don’t Shave Your Ears
So the other day I was shaving my ears in a parking lot. Don`t look at me that way. You get to be my age you start to shave hair in surprising places. The peach fuzz around my ear lobe is now an orchard. I have long white ear whiskers that require a trim from time to time. At least I`m not one of those guys who trys to do the comb-over thing with ear hair. That`s so last year. So I carry a razor with me in the car. It`s labeled In Case of Shaving Emergency, Break Glass.
Well, on this particular morning, before going in to see an important law firm, I was doing my usual once-over. Tie straight? Socks on? Hair foliage? And it was then that I noticed the longest tufts of ear hair this side of Andy Rooney. Not to worry, I broke out my high quality 99 cent Bic razor!
So I`m shaving away and the little suckers are just not coming easy. They`re kind of protected in the valley terrain behind the little mountain on the front part of your ear. I don`t know how else to explain it except in topographical map terminology. I`m a court reporter not an Ears, Nose and Throat specialist. Then again, I`m not a map expert either -- I just know my way around a fuzzy ear lobe.
But like I was saying, these particular hairs were playing hard to cut. Every possible angle -- from the top, from the side, from behind -- I just was making no progress. And now I`m becoming late for my client meeting. I either stop mid-shave and go in with home grown ear muffs or I continue working, risk cutting myself and walk in late for the meeting. So as I held the napkin to my bleeding ear, I explained the situation to my very patient client who lovingly recounted the story to all within earshot.
Morals of the story: Don`t shave in a parking lot -or- Razor blades and deadlines don`t mix -or- Some things can`t be rushed -or- Don`t bleed over the small stuff!
05/24/2007
