Eat Drink And Sleep Steno
The Steno Toast
This toast is not intended for consumption. This is a photo of my decade-old toasted piece of toast said to hold an image of a steno keyboard. In 1997 I was about to take a bite out of it and saw the court reporting keyboard staring back at me.
I can neither confirm nor deny that The Steno Toast holds mystical powers. I can say that I have done little to preserve The Toast save for keeping it in a sandwich baggie -- for 10 long years -- but it doesn't crumble apart or deteriorate or cry. I've decided to show the world -- now for a limited time -- The Steno Toast. I believe that in America everybody has the right to learn of it and experience its mystical powers for themselves.
I really don't care to comment further about that except to say if this artifact is indeed a slice of stenographic pop culture -- which it is -- and if an internet casino would be willing to purchase it for their world tour -- which it may -- I'd be willing to sell. Otherwise, I'm thinking of auctioning it on eBay. Not sure the asking price. Could be some serious bread.
The Tortilla Whisperer
Closely associated to the Steno Toast -- and in the bread family, I suppose -- is the Steno Tortilla. If you stare long enough at the Steno Tortilla you will notice the unmistakable image of a steno machine with two hands typing.
This phenomenon occurred soon after embarking on my court reporting studies roughly in 1993 or 1994 around dinner time. It seemed like everywhere I went I saw court reporting related items. I thought it was merely my imagination. Capturing this image on the Steno Tortilla, however, confirmed my suspicions. I considered it a sign that I was heading in the right direction. It was like somebody whispered, “Hey, you're heading in the right direction.” Plus, “Eat a tortilla.” I listened to the Tortilla Whisperer to the extent of following my dreams of becoming a court reporter and agency owner. I left the Tortilla uneaten, however. It is now in a frame above my diploma.
Sleeping With The Enemy
Shhhhhhh. Court reporter at rest. It's not me but the above photo is of a tuckered out court reporter. Similar to this guy, I began court reporting school in 1993 and I personally count my experiences in school as some of my most cherished memories right up there with my daughter being born and my last tax refund. During those days, I ate, drank and slept steno. At night I dreamt of P-A-T and S-A-L like they were my two buddies.
Not in a weird way.
I made it through theory and then 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s. I just kind of plodded along. I was NO natural. Turns out, I’m not really “a natural” at anything. Everything that I’ve been able to accomplish -- in court reporting, in business, in Nintendo PlayStation -- was not because of some innate talent or natural ability but because I stuck with it and never gave up. And I worked hard and learned – over time -- how to work smart. I feel like repeating my favorite phrase right now: “If Todd can, anyone can!” (Hey, there's an idea for another Steno T-Shirt!)
My Favorite Teacher Of All Time - Mr. Rusty
Everybody has a formative teacher or mentor or two; right? Mine was Mr. Rusty. He taught theory as well as Professional Practices. He was a good arm wrestler too. Because of Mr. Rusty I learned the value of forming a good foundation of theory, studying hard and also how to perform the hook and toproll -- two critical arm wrestling techniques.
Mr. Rusty also encouraged the use of tattoos as motivation to get through school. His logic went something this: If you have a tattoo of a steno machine on your arm, you are less likely to drop out. I can't argue with the sentiment, though I stopped short of getting inked. ;)
For Those Long Deposition Sessions - The Court Reporter's Drinking Buddy
There are times when the testimony is just too good, when the attorneys are just too interesting to ask for a break. Who cares if you're thirsty when everyone important has already helped themselves to coffee and water and self-satisfaction. For the parched court reporter, we introduce the Court Reporter's Drinking Buddy:
- Holds two (2) cans of beverage!!
- Fits snugly around your head. Suppresses headaches!!
- Chin snaps are velvety smooth! Suppresses back talk to rude attorneys!!
- Comes in attractive yellow and red!!
- No-drip hose uses hamster bottle technology!!
The Court Reporter's Bathroom Buddy - Sold separately
Thursday, March 20, 2008